5 a.m. Anywhere

2005-03-10T13:38:00.001-08:00

wow...it's been a long-ass time since I've written anything here...because I've been so busy writing stuff elsewhere, maybe? And I've moved 3000 miles. I think I need to change the name of this blog. I'm no longer in Hollywood, CA, but in Wilmington, NC. But I still get up at 5 a.m. most days:)

Just wanted to send mad love and huge thanks to everyone who came out to my recent east coast shows. I have the best friends in the world. I've always known that...but it has just been proven to me time and time again lately. So thank you. Extra special shouts to Baltimore, for the huge enthusiastic warm welcome home. I will be back for a conference at Goucher in April (hon). Keep checking the site for details. It's free, dahlings.

Now back to school, life, and reality.

2005-03-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

wow...it's been a long-ass time since I've written anything here...because I've been so busy writing stuff elsehwere, maybe? And I've moved 3000 miles. I think I need to change the name of this blog. I'm no longer in Hollywood, CA, but in Wilmington, NC. But I still get up at 5 a.m. most days:)

Just wanted to send mad love and huge thanks to everyone who came out to my recent east coast shows. I have the best friends in the world. I've always known that...but it has just been proven to me time and time again lately. So thank you. Extra special shouts to Baltimore, for the hugem enthusiastic warm welcome home. I will be back for a conference at Goucher in April (hon). Keep checking the site for details. It's free, dahlings.

Now back to school, life, and reality.

2004-07-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

Just had lunch outside, where I was pestered by two bluejays for an hour. At first I just admired their beauty from afar, wondering where they'd flown in from and how long they planned to stay, like I'd do watching their human counterparts at the nearby Burbank airport. Then they came closer and closer. The mangey-er (mangier?) one of the two had a red streak coming from his beady little eye, which he kept trained on me as he hopped closer and closer, until he was less than a foot away. I couldn't concentrate on my book or lunch anymore because I feared they were ready to attack at any moment. (I admit I'm still a little traumatized from an encounter with a nasty parrot who bit my cheek last Thanksgiving). What were there doing in this shady corner of a corporate courtyard at high noon, anyway? They were a little ruffled and scrawny, so I threw 'em some crackers--far away. They chased them and came right back. I threw a piece of lettuce at them. One pecked and then smacked his beak like he was enjoying the dressing on his tongue, then bent down for another peck, but I don't think birds really eat lettuce. When I tried to ignore them and go back too my book, they flew down to the cement and crept toward my feet. I stomped and they fluttered away, only to encroach again moments later. I had to leave the Hitchcockian scene. Where can a girl eat her lunch in peace anymore? The birds are taking over, I tell ya.

2004-07-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

fast. patriotic. proactive.

the Human Rights Campaign has set up a hotline to call your senators & tell them to vote NO on the Federal Marriage Amendment. dial 1-800-672-3184, wait, and enter your zip code. and they'll connect you to your senator's office.

(you can click here for more information. but just call!)

2004-06-24T15:51:00.000-07:00

Come celebrate the release of Shepard Fairey & Roger Gastman's new quarterly, Swindle Magazine this Saturday in Hollyhood at Avalaon (formerly known as The Palace). It's almost not a magazine--more like a book, really. My adventures in assisting professional knife-thrower/sword-swallower/fire-breather David Markham the Miracle Man are chronicled in this debut issue. It's also the 15-yr-anniversary of Shepard's Obey empire, so it should be quite a shin-dig. If you miss it, Swindle will be avail in most B&Ns and Borders Books.

2004-06-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

I am about to trade swimming lessons for a haircut & highlights. And I have traded bio writing for free headshots. And flowers. And CDs. See? Hollywood really is just a small-town in disguise.

2004-06-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

I've taken to only posting my favorite sentences of the day...

Rumor is she got busted a few months ago at the mall on Hollywood
and LaBrea in her Supergirl costume. This was told to me by Jay the stormtrooper, who has a mad crush on her.

2004-06-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

"If you get to the 7-11 where all the tranny hookers hang out, you've gone too far."

2004-05-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

Proof of Life
Was so close to a hummingbird I could hear his wings beating, like a loud little motor. Did you know they're the only birds that can fly backwards? Also saw 2 coyotes hanging out together up Mulholland Friday night. Plus a bunch of lizards, or maybe all the same lizard at different times, outside our building. Better than the usual snails or black widows.

2004-05-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

Nightswimming in a warm pool with lights, high above Los Angeles. Tequila & talking under stars outside of some famous director's house, aware of moments ticking by, trying to inhale and enjoy each one. Each friend, each word, each image, each smell. It could have been a creek in Southern Maryland, frogs croaking and snakes slithering through sweet leaves. Nights like that all feel the same, anywhere. Perfect.

2004-05-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

US Reportedly Kills 40 People at Iraqi Wedding

Wow we are just making friends left and right, aren't we?! Fucking tragedy, all of it.

2004-05-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Morning at the 76

"Here honey, for you," he says, cigar-like fingers opening a white bakery box my way.

"Ooh, a cookie! Thanks. What's it called?" I ask.

"It's like nothing you've ever tasted."

Sweet buttery pastry melts on my tongue.

"Mmm...what's it called?"

"It's very different. You like?"

"Yes, but what's it called?"

A pistachio sits in the middle like a little green belly button. I bite it off. Ama watches me, pushes his glasses up his nose nervously, and answers, "It's Rabia."

"It's good," I say.

Pause.

"It's uuhh, Arabic," he says.

"It's good. Thank you."

2004-05-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

TROY: My Big Fat Greek Tragedy

Whew--A long-winded movie version of the long-winded poem. Forget the gods, forget the face that launched a thousand ships, this pic was all about the fetishization of Brad Pitt's newly-buffed bronze bod. The camera barely gazes at Helen, the woman who (of course) started it all, or any other woman for that matter. Instead we see lots of Pitt's butt, biceps, hairless chest and abs. We get a few shirtless shots of Orlando Bloom, who plays Paris, supposedly the "most handsome man in the world" at the time. Although he wasn't looking so elfin, he was a bit scrawny to be the man Homer made him out to be. Troy will be porno for most women and gay men alike. The dialogue sucks, editing is awkward at times, and story, well...there wasn't much of one, but what was there couldn't help but almost seem like a parody of the stupid war we're all witnessing on the 9 o'clock news these days.

I want my $8.50 back.

2004-05-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

For those who like a good conspiracy theory as much as I do...this had to be posted. Scary, but makes a lot of sense. I knew a guy in DC whose Dad was a mercenary in Viet Nam. Some real ugly stories there. "Thuggish," no doubt, and so was his son.

The Truth About Nick Berg

Beheaded Man's Firm Was On Right-Wing 'Enemies' List

by Fintan Dunne, Editor
BreakForNews.com EXCLUSIVE
Research by Kathy McMahon
12th May, 2004 10amET

The family firm of beheaded American Nick Berg, was named by a
conservative website in a list of 'enemies' of the Iraq occupation. That could
explain his arrest by Iraqi police --a detention which fatally delayed his
planned return from Iraq and may have led directly to his death.

Nick Berg, 26 disappeared into incommunicado detention after his arrest
by Iraqi police in March, 2004. He vanished again after his release 13
days later. His body was found last Saturday in Baghdad, and a video of his
beheading --supposedly by a radical Islamic group-- was posted on the
Internet on Tuesday.

The official story of his gruesome murder has many dubious aspects, not least the real reason why Iraqi police
detained the young man at a checkpoint. New research by BreakForNews
has uncovered a plausible explanation.

The FreeRepublic.com web site and forum has a reputation for right-wing
views, fanatical Republicanism and relentless pro-war activism.

On 7th March, 2004, just three weeks before the first anniversary of
the invasion of Iraq, an 'enemies' list posts of anti-war groups and individuals was posted on the Free Republic forum.

It began: "Here you are, FReepers. Here is the enemy."

The list had been copied from publicly available endorsements of a call
to action for an imminent anniversary antiwar protest on 20th March, 2004.
The protest was being organized under the banner of the A.N.S.W.E.R
Coalition (Act Now to Stop War & End Racism).
http://www.internationalanswer.org

Among those listed as having endorsed the call to action was this
entry: "Michael S. Berg, Teacher, Prometheus Methods Tower Service,
Inc";

That's Nick Berg's father, Michael who acts as business manager for his
son in their family radio communications firm, Prometheus Methods Tower
Service.

Both father and son cared deeply about Iraq. But they were on opposite
sides of opinion on the occupation --though you would never know that from reading the
New York Times.

Michael was ardently antiwar, whereas his Bush-supporting son was in
favor of the war to the extent that he had already visited Iraq seeking to
help with rebuilding efforts.

Just seven days after "Michael Berg" and "Prometheus Methods
Tower Service" had come up on that Iraq war 'enemies' list, his
son Nick Berg returned to Iraq under the business name of Prometheus
Methods Tower Service.

The scene was set for tragically mistaken suspicions --which were to
end in the horrifying death of an honorable and blameless American. A
humanitarian who had traveled several times to Third World countries --such as
Ghana, to teach villagers construction techniques.

-----

The web traffic to the Free Republic forum --and it's forum
membership-- include significant numbers of serving
http://www.freerepublic.com/~tankerkc/ and former US military.

Many members take their online activism very seriously.
http://www.freerepublic.com/~dougfromupland/ Some delight in causing
mischief for those they think are identified as "enemies."

Within minutes of getting their hands on the antiwar names, one was
boasting of having contacted the military about active service personnel who
were on the list:

*
"I forwarded the list to the ISC (the command you listed), the
district officer... the district legal office and the investigative services
office."
*

The response:

*
"The poor moron is not going to know what hit him. Is this being
mean-spirited? NO! Someone against our military does not belong in the
military"
*

Another was already investigating a member of the Coast Guard on the
list:

*
"I took a look at his yahoo and he has a site which is not real
fond of the war on drugs OR the war on terrorism.... That particular coastie
needs some serious trouble to come his way...."

"I spoke on the phone to a senior chief yesterday in Virginia....
[who] could not believe what the guy was doing. He was both astounded
and angry. I think [he] is in for some big, big trouble"
*

If that list could end up on an Internet forum, then it could just as
readily end up with the FBI, and eventually in the hands of those in
Iraq who are keen to track or harass antiwar activists entering the country.

Alternatively, the enthusiasts on Free Republic have the contacts and
the clear determination to have ensured the list quickly got to the right
places.

-----

At the time the list was posted, Nick Berg had just come back from an
Iraq trip lasting from late December to Feb. 1. He had reported no problems
whatsoever with Iraqi police during that visit.

Yet, within two weeks of the list being posted, Nick Berg --back in
Iraq on his final fatal trip-- was reportedly detained in Mosul at an Iraqi
police checkpoint. The official explanation is that authorities thought his
identification might have been forged and were checking his
authenticity.

But a more likely reason is that by then authorities in Iraq had
discovered that a 'Berg' of Prometheus Methods Tower Service was in the country,
and issued a detention instruction to Iraqi police because they
misidentified Nick Berg as an antiwar activist entering Iraq to work for the 'enemy'.

That could explain why he was held incommunicado for 13 days, without
recourse to a lawyer; why US officialdom was singularly unheeding of
his mother's pleas; why the FBI visited his family to question them; why it
took a US court order secured by the family to pressure his release.

And why he was cruelly murdered soon after that release, like many
others around the world who suffer such a fate at the hands of state-condoned
death squads --sometimes just hours after their release from official
detention.

That's the final sordid twist in this grisly story.

-----

If the world was an uncomplicated place, then this tale would end with
the mistaken arrest of Nick Berg.

We could finish by noting that Nick's father is reportedly accusing the
US government of contributing to his son's death. Unable to find work in
Iraq, Nick Berg's last trip was set to be a short one. He planned to return
to the US on the 30th of March.

Michael Berg charges that his son's detention until 5th April, was a
violation of civil rights
http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/world/all-islamicsite-side-051104,0,7401208.story?coll=ny-homepage-big-pix
which fatally delayed his exit from Iraq and instead left him
dangerously stranded in the middle of the explosion of violence which erupted in
early April, 2004.

But there are much graver aspects to all this. Another chilling perspective
is best summarized by the wry cynicism of Michael Rivero at WhatReallyHappened.com

In a commentary on the beheading of Nick Berg, Rivero writes:

*
"How wonderfully lucky for Bush and the NeoCons that such a great
piece
of pro-war distract-from-the-torture-scandal event happens at this
particular moment."
*

Rivero's world-weary realism strikes a chord with his popular website's
visitors, but will undoubtedly shock unseasoned observers. However he
is far from alone in questioning the official line. Others have noted the
too-white hands and military at-ease stance of the hooded captors in the video.

The killing has certainly eased the international discomfiture of the
US.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/05/12/iraq.berg.reax/

-----

The problem with assumptions that al-Queda is responsible for Berg's
beheading, is that Musab al-Zarqawi is mentioned in a caption on the
videotape of the killing.

Al-Zarqawi came to our attention in January, 2004 when the US military
claimed to have intercepted a letter of his written to the al-Queda
leadership. But the content of the letter read like a US military
propaganda
statement on the situation in Iraq.

In the letter al-Zarqawi wrote of Iraqis coming to welcome the US
presence in Iraq, and about how al-Queda was loosing ground in it's war against
the US.

In February, 2004 an article "The Zarqawi Gambit," by Greg
Weiher http://www.counterpunch.org/weiher02262004.html on Counterpunch was
deeply skeptical of the letter:

"..if you were Karl Rove, you couldn't design a better scenario to
validate the administration's slant on the war than this. That's a good
reason to maintain a healthy skepticism. In fact, there are a number of
good reasons to take this story with a grain of salt (maybe a three- or
four-pounder)."

The US has been keen to paint the opposition to the occupation as
composed of many foreign fighters tied to al-Queda. The letter was clearly
fabricated for propaganda purposes, with al-Zarqawi as it's new al-Queda star.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/05/11/walsh/index.html

-----

But if al-Zarqawi is merely a flimsy propaganda creation, then what
confidence can we have in the official line that al-Zarqawi and
al-Queda murdered Berg.

The only plausible alternative is a covert, black operation
orchestrated as part of the seedier arm of US foreign policy --which generally only
come to light when candid photographs, for example, reach the public domain.

But that's an explanation which many would reject on the grounds that
no force allied to the US --no matter how black its operations-- would
have members so callous as to even countenance the cold-blooded beheading of
a US citizen.

However, there is a mindset amplified by war passions and found among
the gung-ho brutes who beat Iraqis to death; found among the thuggish
mercenary death squads who roam to slay at will; and found among the cold-blooded
sociopaths who have planted bombs for political strategic reasons.

It's war. And war begets a wartime mindset.

Nick Berg's detention indicates that authorities regarded him an an
antiwar activist and possibly also as an 'enemy.'

That original post on Free Republic contains a telling indication of a
mindset, which in the heat of war could well kill an American it
regards as the "enemy."

A mindset which has now reacted to Michael Berg's loss of his son like
this: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1092851/posts?q=1&&page=261

*
"I wonder what he thinks about his Muslim buddies now... "
*

A mindset displayed by the search keywords used on Free Republic to
categorize the list of antiwar supporters. The keywords are:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1092851/posts

APPEASENIKS; DAMNCOMMIES; ENEMYWITHIN; LEFTISTS; PEACENIKS; RATS;
SCUMBAGS;
TRAITORS; TREASONOUSSCUM; USEFULIDIOTS; WARONTERROR

See Related: The Sham Saddam Scam http://www.wagkingdom.com

Copyright © 2004 BreakForNews.com Attribute for Fair Use.
PAGE URL: http://www.BreakForNews.com/NickBergEnemiesList.htm

2004-05-13T06:31:00.000-07:00

The singer for Division of Laura Lee is like indie rock's version of Meatloaf. I love it when bands aren't model-pretty. Plus they fucking rocked the Troubador last night. Not a great turn-out but the band played like it was. Still feeling the bass reverb in my chest this morning...
Rich met them on tour in Sweden a coupla years ago...good to see they're still kickin' it live.

While talking to an old friend, waiting for the band to start, watched a drunk dyed-black-messy-haired girl stumble up to the stage, spit a mouthful of beer out and yell "Fucking play! I'm bored already!" Also ran into a couple who lives in our building--the guy was in the opening band, Run Run Run, who we missed missed missed. Small world.

2004-05-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

"Did you go to Costco?" she asks. I nod, my teeth sinking into a steaming slice of $1.99 cheese pizza. Someone else says "Did you hear about what happened there? This girl bit into a Costco hotdog and swallowed two bullets that were inside of it!"
Uproar in the kitchen.
"How did she not feel them?"
"She said she had braces so didn't chew food all the way. They found 'em in her stomach."
"But how big is a bullet? Like two inches? So she swallowed 2 inches of hotdog without chewing?"
"They said the hotdogs are x-rayed and everything before they get to Costco, 'cause they're kosher and supposed to be untouched and stuff, so it must have happened AT Costco!"
"Oh god, gross!"
"I just love hotdogs. That wouldn't stop me from eating them," she says.
"There's a lot worse than bullets in hotdogs," I say.
She stares off into space, dreamily stirring her tea.
"I just looove hotdogs."

2004-05-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

What did the zero say to the 8?

"Nice belt!"

That's the best joke I've heard in awhile. Kids like it, anyway.

2004-05-05T00:09:00.000-07:00

Just got back from seeing my friend Ian's new band, the Evens. Good, solid, deceptively simple songwriting. Nice intimate crowd in an interesting art space called Self Help Graphics, which reminded me of all the church basement, VFW, and community center shows I grew up going to in DC, and just like Ian said before one of his songs, doing things outside the box..."you can do whatever you want on this big ol' playing field."

Saw lotsa friends there and at an earlier reading at the Parlour. Makes me warm inside and sad about leaving LA--am I doing the right thing? Isn't this my home? Haven't we all created something great together, a certain place in time? Will there be a hole in my heart when I'm over there, back east? Will friends here keep in touch or ever come to visit? Will I go to see them play a show or do a reading or hang their art in some cool space in Wilmington? Did I matter, the way they all do to me?

2004-04-29T10:08:00.000-07:00

Things take on a different look when you know you're leaving. I'm trying to etch everything in my brain so I don't forget it, no matter how beautiful or ugly.

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cal-State LB yesterday. It was an amazing conference. I like being the tattooed freak visiting author at colleges--I'd like to think it gives some girls hope:)

2004-04-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

I have this Avail lyric stuck in my head:
Die fast,
but live slow
without regrets...

I think it's from One Wrench. I guess big life-changing decisions are on my mind. Yesterday I had to follow my boss so she could drop off a rental van. I totally spaced out, forgetting why I was driving and where I was going, and lost her. It should have been an easy task but I was lost in my mind.

2004-04-23T15:45:00.000-07:00

Everyone must see this new documentary, Supersize Me. Went to a screening last night and was shocked and awed. This guy lives on only McDonalds' food for 30 days and the results are hilarious, terrifying and astounding.

On another note, did I mention I'm moving 3,000 miles away, BACK to the east coast, to go to grad school? Equally terrifying and exciting...

2004-04-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

I was on the radio last night. The great 90.7 KPFK, on Feminist Magazine, promoting this reading we're doing for Without a Net at Cal-State Long beach next week. Good thing I forgot to tell anyone, cuz I sounded like a blathering idiot. Something about headphones and a big fat microphone in my face makes me revert to my 6-yr-old shy self, the only one who DIDN'T raise her hand to play Mary, mother of Jesus, in the school Christmas play but much to her horror got picked "for being so nice and quiet" anyway. The host last night was great...but could anyone hear me nodding my head yes enthusiastically to everything she said? Ugh.

2004-04-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Saw the great John Sinclair play to a handful of people in a church-like room at Beyond Baroque in Venice last night. It was one of those sacred shows I felt lucky to stumble upon. He dedicated each poem or song to a friend and mentioned the city the friend lived in, referring to them all at the end of the night as his 'caretakers,' the ones who let him sleep on a couch or in a guest room while he travels the room doing his thing. I thought that was a lovely term and it made me immediately grateful for all of mine. Shouldn't friends all be eachothers' caretakers in that way? I'm emo right now. It's pms, I know.

2004-04-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

New York was everything I wanted...and more. Burnt peanuts, crowded streets, cheap clothing, good hip-hop, and lit-loving audiences that filled every reading. St. Mark's Place and the Lower East Side are not the same places they were when I lived there in '90. Most of the seediness is gone, replaced by trendy bars and eateries, which I can't deny I enjoyed taking advantage of.

We ate like vegan kings, my fave places being this new one in Brooklyn called Foodswing (only 1 week old!) and Moby's adorable little spot, TEANY. Everything about the place is cute cute cute, and the Brit-inspired tea sandwiches and desserts are toooo yummy. Is it possible to have a crush on a restaurant?

2004-04-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

Goodbye free speech. It cost Clear Channel $465,000, and Howard Stern to be dropped from their stations. What the hell? Oh, is hell a bad word? Shit.

2004-04-08T14:32:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane...tomorrow...first time in NY since '99. It's spring and even though the thought of reading in public makes me wanna puke, the thought of seeing my friends there, and the good ol' Lord of the Fleas fleamarket, and Bagels on The Square, and trying out Red Bamboo, makes me feel better. Got my 'Hollyhood' Neighborhoodie just in time. I know it's trendy, but you can customize your shite! That's cool! I had to send the yogie pants back cuz the LARGE is too small. The world doesn't need to see my butt crack. That's not cool. They show Beyonce on the site wearing them. What I wanna know is what size did SHE have to get??!

2004-04-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

My first attempt at that scary many-headed monster, fiction, has been published. It's a short short called #1 Grandma. Check it out if you're bored at work, like I was when I wrote it.

2004-04-01T17:34:00.000-08:00

2004-04-01T09:08:00.000-08:00

coming to NYC

for anyone interested, I'll be doing some readings in NY next wknd for 2 separate books:

April 9, 2004
FRIDAY
Pills, Thrills, Chills and Heartache: Adventures in the First Person (Alyson Books) Laurie Stone, Lisa Archer, Shawna Kenney, Kathe Izzo, Daniel Cartier, Michelle Tea and Clint Catalyst reading at:
BARNES & NOBLE
Greenwich Village
396 Ave of the Americas at 8th Street
New York, NY 10011
212-674-8780

April 10, 2004
SATURDAY
Pills, Thrills, Chills and Heartache
a book release party at Remote Lounge
327 Bowery (also known as 3rd Ave) between 2nd and 3rd Streets
NYC
7:30pm-10pm 7$
contributors Daniel Cartier, Jan Richman, Kathe Izzo, Laurie Stone (Close to the Bone; Laughing in the Dark), Shawna Kenney, Lisa Archer, Cheryl B and Sara Seinberg, and editors Clint Catalyst and Michelle Tea for more info email Janine Avril, janine@Janinesays.com
Hosted by the world famous *Bob*

April 11, 2004
SUNDAY
Without a Net: The Female Experience of Growing Up Working Class (Seal Press) reading with Michelle Tea & other contributors at:
BLUESTOCKINGS
172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington
NYC
7 pm
Free
212.777.6028

2004-04-01T09:01:00.000-08:00

At 5 a.m. on my daily walk this morning I almost walked right into a homeless man's naked butt. He had his hand on the center, where he was wiping. This was near the 101 freeway, under an apartment window. I guess when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. But damn. I don't think this is the Hollywood tourists see. And it's definitely not the Hollywood some of my east coast friends think I live in. When contemplating moving to NC recently, one actually tried to talk me out of it, saying "I don't know if there will be enough excitement here for you." I think he thinks I am partying with Motley Crue every night or something, not going to neighborhood council meetings and waking up to naked asses. Excitement! Woo!

2004-03-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

I don't smoke. I don't drink coffee. But my daily work-week ritual of green tea and Clif bars at 7-11 is just getting to be too much. This morning I almost got into a fist-fight over a parking space. This guy zipped into one I was waiting for so I yelled out the window "Now I KNOW you saw me waiting for that space!" and he says "There's other people pulling out" without even looking me in the eye. "Asshole," I yelled. I finally parked and went in, and he was right near my green tea, so I said "dick" as I walked by, then he got in line behind me, and after I paid the cashier I turned to the slovenly young man behind me once more to say "you're an ass." He didn't say anything. He was buying the same green tea as me. I thought of spitting on his car as I walked by it but held myself back. I did yogic breathing and tried to wish him well instead. When he peeled out of the lot it made me mad all over again, and I focused back on my breathing. Then I heard Tim Robbins on Howard Stern talking about this new play he wrote, called Embedded. It's showing in New York. Wow--I'm gonna be in NY next weekend, I thought. Maybe I could go see this play? So I bought tix for me, my hubby and the beautiful couple we're staying with, and now I barely remember the arrogant parking space thief. I'm gonna see Tim Robbins in his play on Easter Sunday in NYC! Woo!!! Life is good!

2004-03-29T15:36:00.000-08:00

Speaking of mutilating genitals...I just found an email on the public printer at work regarding a co-worker's vasectomy. The subject was just "vasectomy" and message to himself was "9 a.m. Bring driver." I guess you would need a driver, huh? This guy is a boisterous, loud "man's man" kinda man...the kind that calls every guy 'brother' or 'buddy' while punching him in the arm, and ignores women completely. Maybe it'll calm his ass down. I quietly put the email on his desk when he wasn't there. He has his own printer in his office so it he must've been wondering where it was. The only co-worker friend I told says I should have written 'good luck' on it with a smiley face!!! (Scott is my new Dear Abby.)

2004-03-29T09:36:00.000-08:00

I have to shamelessly repeat one of Bett's last blogs because it's just too bizarre. The State of Georgia has banned female genital piercings, making it a crime punishable by 2-20 years in prison. This applies only to women. Men are free to pierce their dicks all they want. Check it out for yourself at -
here

2004-03-26T09:50:00.000-08:00

skinheads in Burbank?
I am shaken by something I just witnessed in a 7-11. I stopped in Burbank to get my ice tea and a Cliff bar, and as I was reaching in for my drink, heard a man get really loud with the 7-11 clerk. "WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME CHANGE?!" he yells. The 7-11 clerk mumbles something like "you gave me ten dollars and fifty-two cents" and the customer yells "NO I DIDN'T, I GAVE YOU A BRAND NEW FIVE AND FIFTY TWO CENTS. NOW WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GIVING ME CHANGE?" This man is way too loud and way too angry about some change. The clerk says something like "ok" and I walk up to the counter. the clerk looks at me and I put my stuff down for him to ring me up next. I check out the aggro customer and he's a cleanshaven very bald very white guy wearing a balck t-shirt that says something like "Operation Noble Eagle" on the back. He turns back to the cashier and loudly asks "where's your name tag? Why aren't you wearing a name tag?" The clerk, the same man I see every morning who has probably worked all night, quietly says "We don't wear nametags at this store" and starts to ring me up. "Don't wear name-tags, huh?" asks the harrasser. he looks at me, like "can you believe that?" I give him a mean look, like "what's YOUR problem?" he smriks and rushes out of the store. I pay and as I'm leaving see the guy pulling away in a silver car with tinted windows. I try to get his plate number but he peels out so fast I can't. I don't know what I would've told police. This man might commit a hate-crime today? Is he off to harrass other brown-skinned 7-11 workers? What the fuck?!! How many other assholes does this clerk have to deal with lik ethis all day, every day. Where is the love, people? The music for today is AVAIL, from their Satiate album. Can't remember the name of the song but it goes "let go...of the hatred in your soul..." over and over at the end with civil-war like snares behind it. Beautiful.

2004-03-26T07:22:00.000-08:00

I dreamed I was sleeping on a rooftop of a big house in a sleeping bag under the stars in Northern Virginia....night after night in cool moist air. It was nice. Does this mean I'm moving? Or is dreaming of sleep some indication of how tired I've been lately?

2004-03-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

I need photos on this thing. Spring has sprung and the blossoms are blooming and words just won't do it justice.

So sick of hearing about life on Mars. Who cares? Not me. Prove it! But don't waste my money doing it. Feed starving people or something. I need to see an alien all up in my face before I give a damn. I'm enjoying reading about the Danish artist who painted the iceberg and also the one nation under god battle.

I did absolutely nothing all day at work today, btw. Took a 3-hr lunch...with my boss. Being bad is good.

2004-03-24T14:16:00.000-08:00

Oh no. I have to go to a wedding...in VEGAS! I fucking hate Vegas. But I have to go because i love this friend so much. At the risk of sounding like a right-wing republican I have to say it is just everything that is wrong with this country. It is supersized, super-fried, too much eyeshadow and too many lights, cigarettes, iceberg lettuce and hot wings. Controlled chaos. Disneyland for repressed grown-ups. Sadness in a sexy shiny wrapper. It makes me feel autistic. This is what happened—what I wrote—last time I was there:

It’s Like I Told You
Eighteenth floor of the MGM Grand in Vegas—the world’s largest hotel—over a bowl full of PayDays, Swiss Rolls, Chips Deluxe, Cherry and Creamsavers, surrounded by ashtrays filled with lip-stick-ringed cigarette butts, Mary tells me her husband tells her she looks every bit of her forty-seven years. She and her friends save all year for this trip—no husbands allowed. They get a free room because they spend so much in the casino. Now they’re VIPs.

They talk about the friend who couldn’t come this time. Her husband put a loaded shotgun to her head and threatened to kill her, so they all tried to help her. She left and stayed with Mary.

“She went from a size 18 to a size 9/10,” one of them tells me in her heavy Maryland accent.

“How’d she do it?” asks another.

“Walking,” says Mary.

“But she still had thirty pounds of Jello hangin’ off her leg,” she adds.

“Ha! Then he wanted her back. Even with the thirty pounds of Jello hanging off!” another says.

“And back she went," Mary says, clipping the frizzied ends of her hair into a curling iron.

"So screw her."

They are here to gamble in the glare of Vegas, get away from their lives, “find a man,” or “make some money,” or “better yet find a man with money—then I can gamble with his and save mine!” laughs Mary.

I watch them blow dry their hair, take showers, bust out their finest lingerie and support hose, and make themselves up like a Glamour-Shots shoot. They share hair care products, do each other’s eyeliner, and show me earrings they bought on QVC, while Only the Lonely blasts from the TV in the background.

2004-03-24T09:18:00.000-08:00

Fantomas was s'posed to play a free show tonight at Amoeba but it was just CANCELLED! Blah. Oh well, that just means I can go to yoga. Going to see my friend Shanti tomorrow at Zen Sushi. (She's amazing, btw.) Try Harder, my husband Rich's band, is playing Saturday in Fontana...or Fontuckey, as we affectionally call it. It's looking like a musical week. yeeeeeehaw!

2004-03-23T20:48:00.000-08:00

is this thing on?